There is a new linky going around the blogosphere, and it's all about siblings. It's all about taking a photo of your kids together at the 10th of every month. I looked around on Friday, and everyone were joining in, mostly saying how hard it was for them to find photos of their children together. I have the opposite problem, I have too few photos of each of them alone. Anyway, obviously I didn't join the linky (otherwise you would have seen this post earlier), but later that night my friend Steph joined it and invited me to join as well. I told her I have never done a photo post on my blog, as I prefer my photos to accompany my words. It is true, but it wasn't the real reason.
The reason I am telling you this, is that it started raising questions I have no answer to, and I am starting to be concerned about the future. Ron and Yon have a four year gap, a very different personality and interests, and have eased into the stage of jealousy and bickering lately. I know it's a phase, and that everyone goes through it and I shouldn't be worried about it, and that they are boys so half their interaction with the world is through fighting and grunting and bickering anyway. But I am worried, because I like to teach by example, and I don't have a good example to teach by in this case. How can I raise them to be good brothers, the way I think good brothers are supposed to be, when I don't have an example to give them? How do I make sure the differences in their personality - that I am sure will evolve into differences in lifestyle, careers, spouses, and location - won't hinder their relationship? How do I make sure they will be there for each other? How do I make sure my vision of a good sibling relationship is carried out, when I myself am such a bad example of it?
I want them both to like each other and love each other and feel secure in their relationship and in our love for them.
I would have liked all this for Hidai and for myself.
And maybe that's just it, maybe I can't make sure of it, because maybe there is no good sibling relationship and it's all a fantasy I concocted in my head? I don't have any real-life example to give them, all I can do is point at them and say "do as I say and not as I do", which is never a good thing is it?